I Think We're Alone Now

We will watch this movie like DAMN HELL ASS KINGS

It doesn't happen very often, but sometimes I'll go to the movies and there will just be NOBODY ELSE in the theatre. For some reason, this excites the crap out of me. It's like you're getting a private screening. No other jerks in there to kick your seat. No assholes that think their phone vibrating like a motherfucking rattlesnake is "silent". No dumb stupids that choose to sit right.next.to.you when there are 128 other empty seats.
Being alone in the theatre is perfection. But you know what always ruins it? PEOPLE. I never actually get to be alone. It's never happened. EVER. Inevitably, someone will wander in during the previews, or even worse- during the first 5 minutes of the movie (just when I think I'm safe) and destroy my fantasy universe. I then sit in silent hatred of these people for the duration of the film.
I don't even know what would make it so great being alone in the theatre...like, what am I even expecting to do? Run around? Be loud? Who cares. Point is, it would be cool. The end.