I've got a lot of Fuck You's to dole out....

First on the FUF Docket:

Channels that sync up their commercials.
I know you do it on purpose, damn corporate bastards. If you've ever watched TV with me, you've probably wanted to punch me in the head. I'm constantly channel surfing. It's like I have TVADD. I find it almost physically impossible to sit through a commercial break. I just can't. I have to find some other show on that I can flip to or else I can't handle it. There's also the fact that I keep up with SO many shows that sometimes I'm watching 2 shows at once. "How can you do that?" you ask? Well, I'm just that fucking awesome, except when the damn asshats get together and co-ordinate their commercial break times. How else do you expect me to keep up with Gossip Girl and How I Met Your Mother when you put them on at the same damn time? I *could* watch them after the fact, which brings me to my next eff you....

 No Fast Forward feature when you watch stuff On Demand.
What the fuck is that bullshit? I already am late to the game with these shows, and now you're going to FORCE me to watch these stupid commercials? Where is the justice in that? This problem is compounded by the fact that when you're watching stuff On Demand, you can't channel surf. So you're really just stuck, watching stupid stale commercials from days ago. Sometimes since I'm so used to channel surfing, I'll go to change the channel when I'm watching On Demand and totally fuck everything up. This wouldn't happen if I could just fast forward the fucking commercials.

Third eff you this week goes to the 2008 movie "Be Kind, Rewind".

From the trailer, I thought this movie was going to be INCREDIBLE. Jack Black? Amazing. Recreating movies because all of the cassettes had been erased? Seemed awesome. I was SO excited to rent this movie, which is perhaps why I was SO LET DOWN when it sucked the fucking hairy ball.


It starts out funny. I thought it was promising...they recreate Ghostbusters!...but then it devolves into this sappy drama where they have to save the video store from being demolished since it was supposed to be the birthplace of some dude but it turns out that it wasn't, and blah blah WHO CARES. Shut up and make me laugh. I think it was after this movie that I didn't just blindly see any Jack Black movie anymore. Fool me once, shame on you. SHAME ON YOU, JABLES.

That's it for this week. Thanks for listening.