The Return of FAT TUESDAY!

'I wash myself with a rag on a stick'

While I was cleaning off my old phone....(yes, I have joined the rest of the cool population and gotten myself a MOTHERFUCKING iPHONE BAAAYBEEEEE!) I found pictures from the CNE that I totally forgot about. They are of all of the fried crap I consumed so that you guys wouldn't have to.

 1. This was what they called "Deep Fried Cola", but I ordered as "Deep Fried Coke" and the guy behind the counter actually shushed me and then looked around like the fucking trademark people were there listening. Who cares. ANYWAY. Deep fried COKE was...pretty weird. It was fried dough (think funnel cake), COKE syrup, whipped cream (which melted from the heat) and a cherry (which I ate immediately, hence not pictured). I had a few bites of it...it really wasn't great. It tasted like soggy coke dough. Which...is actually what it was. I'd pass next year.

3 carny scabs out of 5 (awarded a bonus for the cherry)

 2. Deep Fried Kool-Aid. Of the fried fare at the fair (gheeeeeeeeeeeey), these were the best. I got cherry flavoured (of course). They tasted like little cherry timbits almost, but crunchier and greasier and just all around "better". They also had some kool-aid powder sprinkled on top.

OH...and when I ordered them, I asked for 'Deep Fried Kool-aid" and I didn't get shushed OR corrected :)

5 carny scabs out of 5

3. Deep Fried Oreos. I didn't take a picture, I'm sorry...but shit, it's a cookie with batter. Use your imagination. This was a big disappointment. I thought it was going to be ...well not 'life changing' but perhaps somewhere along those lines. The batter wasn't really crispy, it was soggy. The cookie on the inside was soggy. It was a soggy, greasy mouthful. And I mean that in a bad way.

 2 carny scabs out of 5

AND NOW....THE PIECE DE RESISTANCE....THE KRISPY KREME CHEESEBURGER. Yes, I really had one. I didn't eat a whole one though, what the fuck do you think I am, some kind of pig that goes to a fair and spends $40 on deep fried bullshit?....Oh. Wait.
Anywho, the burger tasted...exactly like you were eating a donut and a cheeseburger at the same time. It was not a good thing. At first I was like "Hey, not bad" but then the more I thought about it the more grossed out I became. Never again.
1 carny scab out of 5. It also cost a fucking fortune.