Dumbass Cellphone Jerks.

When I'm driving and I see someone on their goddamn cellphone it makes me NUTS. I mock them. I say "Look at me, on my cellphone" in a stupid voice.

Why do I do this? Am I that much of a keener that I'm admant about the 'no talking on your cell phone while driving' law (but put up massive jumbotrons around the city, on the highways...no way could THAT be distracting) to the point of mocking? No. I actually kinda hate the law. I'm just jealous that these fucks have the balls to use their phones while I haven't touched one to my ear since the damn law was put in place. Sorry, but NO conversation is worth the $300 ticket. Or...however much it is. I've had a cell phone since 1997 and I got it when I got my licence. I've been talking on my phone while driving for as long as I've BEEN driving. I know you guys are probably like "Yeah sure, you're one of those jerks that weaves and cuts people off and doesn't check their blind spot!" but I am telling the truth..! First of all, I would hold the phone with my INSIDE arm. HELLO! This ensures that you can still see all around you, not like buddy up there. (I love how I'm trying to justify something that is an obvious distration but anyway). So yeah. I miss having my car be like my little office where I conducted business. I absolutely HATE talking on my cell phone at home. It feels weird...when I'm at home on the phone, I want it to have some sort of cord. I love those old skool push button phones the best. If I have to talk to someone, I'd prefer it to be on one of those, as opposed to the burning hot brain fryer.

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Of course, I'd probably be singing a different tune if I had a motherfucking iPhone. WAH WOH.