Rom-Coms

So I hate Rom-Coms. I really do. Chick flicks, rom-coms whatever you want to call them, they're gross. They make women think that there are actually guys out there that are as caring, hot and perfect as they are in the movies. You might think to yourself, "That's ridiculous. I'm smarter than that!!", but they actually did a study and found that rom-coms are DANGEROUS to our emotional life. No Joke! So that said, I will tell you about the time that I dumped someone after watching a rom-com (it was actually the movie of the poster above).
I was working at a Firkin pub, and I'd probably classify that time as my 'dating heyday'. I did a LOT of dating while I worked there. Now thinking back, it was pretty awesome...but I'll touch on that another day. So there was this bouncer named Kyle who was SUPER nice and pretty good looking. I was about 22 or 23 (so, 'young'), and he was 30 (so, 'old'). I didn't think he'd want to date me since I was just a young whippersnapper but low and behold he asked me out. I went over to his place which was pretty neato considering I hadn't dated anyone with their own apartment yet. We'd eat like absolute pigs, frying up a pound of bacon and having that for dinner along with brie on triscuits. He was, as I said, SUPER nice. I hung out with him a few times, and as I got to know him better, I discovered he was a little odd. Not in a bad way, but I found out weirdness like he once was 'homeless' for a summer, his friend bet him that he couldn't live in a tent for 3 months so he did. He lived in a tent in a forest in Toronto. For 3 months. WTF? He said he'd shower at the gym and stuff so it wasn't so bad. Yeah...weird. Even though our age difference wasn't SO great it started to eat at me a bit. I felt we didn't have too much in common, that we just grew up in different eras so we couldn't chat about the same pop references and such. Then comes the movie. I go to my bff Courtney's house and after spending approximately 1.75 hours in the rental store, we pick out "Get Over It" (Starring ~SISQO~). It was actually a cute movie...there are many hot YOUNG boys in it. Boys who were still in their prime of life, not all old and '30' like the one I was dating. I realized that I was young and in the prime of my life too, what was I doing with this geezer, staying with him just because he was NICE? I wanted a young hot guy who was going to woo me by auditioning to be in the same high school play as me, not some guy who lived in a fucking forest.
I decided after watching the movie that I was going to end things with Kyle. I'd never really ended things with a guy before. I'd been dumped enough to know what's what, but never been the dumper. I go over to his place and before I can do the deed, he sits me down and ...tells me how happy he is. With me. And that he was also dating a LAWYER for a few months but just ended things with her FOR ME.
WONDERFUL. So now that I feel like a gigantic ASSHOLE, I tell him that it's just not working out for me. He was pretty sad, I must say. I really felt bad because he was so sweet, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel some sort of sick pleasure from having a) an older man upset that I was ending things with him who had b) just dumped a LAWYER for me.

So that's the story of how a rom-com made me dump someone. I wonder how long I would've stayed with him if we'd rented Thumb Wars.