Bert & Ernie - He's just not that into You.

I love Bert and Ernie. I always have. I was inspired by Bert to have a bottle cap collection, no joke...but I also collected eraser shavings, so draw your own conclusions.
Bert and Ernie are like the odd couple but are also best friends, even though Bert gets annoyed at silliness you know he always loves Ernie...as a friend.
So why do people have to read into their relationship and make them gay?


Like honestly, for one thing--they are fucking PUPPETS. Puppets don't have sex. They don't even have lower bodies for crying out loud! So in that case, sexuality is irrelevant. Why can't they just be best friends? Why does everyone have to be all cool and homosexual nowadays?


I'm so glad that when these stupid dumdums with WAY too much time on their hands started an online campaign to have Bert and Ernie get married, that Sesame Street actually issued a statement to be like, HEY RETARDS: THEY ARE JUST BEST FRIENDS. NOT GAY.


Kudos for not bowing down to the pressure and making them gay, which is actually a rumour I've heard for years and years...I once heard that the church groups were forcing Sesame Street to kill off Bert & Ernie since they were gay, and they were going to kill them by having them sucked down the drain in their bathtub. Like THAT would've been a great fucking idea...you'd have kids terrified of bathing. Gross.

If that didn't terrify them though, this certainly would.
"Wanna take a bath with my rubber ducky?"

OMG ADDENDUM: File this under totally weird. I saved the topic for this blog last week when it actually happened (or 2 weeks ago?) and finally had a chance to write it today. I *just* went to cracked.com and found this article, also written today. Specially of note is when Bert shows the interviewer his genitals. Fucking uncanny and WEIRD people!