I need a new wardrobe.

I was looking at my closet this morning, trying to decide what to wear. I came to the conclusion that my closet is in a sad state of affairs.
If you didn't know better, you'd swear I was a frequent shopper at the Goodwill...or a well-kempt hobo. 80% of my t-shirts have holes in them. HOLES! Not the type you can sew up, either. It's kind of embarrassing, but they are all my favorite shirts, KISS, Foo, etc. That's right...band shirts. They were kind of like my uniform until I got a position at work that required some sort of thought going into my clothing and NO jeans. That's big for me. Jeans were my pant of choice. I have turned down jobs in the past because I couldn't wear jeans. No joke. Now I have to wear slacks to work, which is shitty but I'll live. Work clothing is not where my issue lays....it's what I wear when I'm ME.
I'm at a weird point, where I'm not sure exactly HOW to dress. I don't like any of the trends going on now (harem pants? BARF. maxi dress? ugh. plus why would I want to wear anything that sounds like a feminine napkin.) I guess since I feel stuck, I just wear what I've always worn, jeans and a t-shirt. Literally ALWAYS WORN. Witness below, two pictures taken 5 years apart. SAME SHIRT.

2005

2010

I wish that "What Not To Wear" would come to my house and teach me how to dress myself for my age. Where the hell does a 30 year old shop for clothes? I'm too old for Bluenotes, and too young for like, Reitmans. It's very confusing. It doesn't help that I'm very picky about what I wear (can't you tell? ....shut up.) Probably also doesn't help that I'm broke, and with clothing you get what you pay for. Sure, I could probably get new shit at Wal-Mart for cheap...but what's the point if the shit falls apart once you wash it? You can only get by febreezing for so long, then people don't want to sit next to you on the bus anymore.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but maybe one of you kind souls could submit my name to Stacey and Clinton. They'd have a field day with me. Do it.