Irrational Fear # 64: Clowns

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CAN I MAKE YOU A BALLOON
ANIMAL AND THEN EAT YOUR SOUL?

I've always hated clowns, as far back as I can remember. What is funny about someone dressed up in goofy clothing and big shoes with a stupid red nose? They are fucking terrifying on their own, not to mention they are the number one fan of balloons (which is a whole 'nother irrational fear yet to come.). When I try and think back to where this fear stems from, I think it was from my first time going to the Circus.
I don't remember much about it since I most likely blocked it from my memory...but I found a picture that I had drawn in grade school that was of me and my Godmother at the Circus. I drew myself crying and drew a clown shooting water at my face. I'd completely forgotten about that, but that actually happened. A fucking asshole clown shot water right in my goddamn face. WHO DOES THAT? Jerk fuck.

If that incident had never happened, I probably would still be freaked out by clowns. Hobo clowns are especially scary, because they are also kinda sad. I mean, not only are you a hobo, but in addition to the booze that you collect change for, you have to set aside some funds for face paint. There used to be this tv show that I'd watch where this hobo clown teaches you french. Talk about stacking the scary deck....hobo clown + french. Then there's the scary looking Oopsie Daisy clown that hosted "Big Top Talent" who was also a freaky looking dude. IT was the movie that pushed me over the edge, though. Yeah, the ending blew but Tim Curry played a creepy clown to perfection.
I hate clowns so much that if someone offered me a free trip to Las Vegas but the only catch was that I had to stay at Circus Circus, I'd tell them to eff themselves. Staying there would be like living in a Fun House from HELL. I was even afraid to walk past it. Fucking clowns.