No, I don't want to dance.

I hate dancing. Well...ok...I hate dancing in public, unless it's tap dancing and the year is 1994. Why do I hate it? Well my babies, I'll tell you something. I can't dance. Like, at all. I am WAY too self-aware of every movement of my flailing limbs and generally just feel like an asshole. Some people look good when they're dancing, but I would say they are in the minority. The majority of people look lame and silly and when I dance, I just imagine myself looking foolish and picture jerks like me watching and writing blogs about what a bad dancer I am.
For the most part, my hatred of dancing doesn't affect my life since I don't get dragged out to clubs anymore (thank goodness for that--club music makes me want to stick my fingers into my eyes, into my brains, and SWIRL IT AROUND), but there are still occasions where I'm reluctantly pulled by the arm onto a dancefloor. I don't get people that do that, by the way. Leave me the fuck alone. I'm not having a bad time sitting on the sidelines, most likely by the food if there is any. What makes me have a bad time are dinks that think "JEN NEEDS TO DANCE!" and then embarrass me by dragging me over to dance with them the way a parent would drag a tantrum-throwing child out of Toys R Us. I don't want to be in one of those weird circles of women doing the purse dance (one hand on the purse strap, bending slightly at the knees, other arm waving in the air like you just don't care, sassy head bobbing, cringing & barfing). Usually I'll do an awkward shuffle/robot attempt for about 25 seconds and then dance myself back to my original location. I just don't get why people would want to force someone to dance with them when they OBVIOUSLY do not want to. There's plenty of people out there that don't mind busting a move, go bug them.
If I could pop & lock though....that is a DIFFERENT STORY ENTIRELY! Nothing is cooler than break dancing. You can even look cool break dancing while sweeping. Enjoy. (From Breakin' or Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo...best sequel title ever)