Internet Dating

Ahh....the joys of internet dating. Back before I met my bf (who, by the way, I DID meet on the internet...), I had drank the pool of available men in my area dry. I was finished with University, no longer worked at a bar, and single.  I started thinking...where the hell are you supposed to meet someone nowadays? Don't say the grocery store. When I go grocery shopping I don't think I've EVER seen a hot dude in produce waiting to start a life with me. I actually don't think I've ever seen a hot dude AT the grocery store. So yeah...when you're in high school or post-secondary, there's a plethora of people around just waiting for you to date, but once you're out it's like, kinda shitty. So I turned to Lavalife. I didn't tell anyone though, for the stupid and mostly untrue stigmas surrounding internet dating...since then it's become more acceptable, but 7-8 years ago its like "All you'll find are weirdo fat hairy 45 year old men that lie!! Or PSYCHOS!....OR BOTH!"

It was kind of exciting at first. I made my profile, took a picture of myself with my polaroid camera and scanned it in (look...I was late with catching up to the times. I didn't get a computer until I was 19, a digital camera until I was 24, and a blog until I was 29). I created my profile...looking back I can't remember exactly what it said but it was the normal type stuff...then I waited. It didn't take long for my first 'smile' (equivalent to a 'poke' on Facebook) to arrive, and then some messages...but alas, none were from anyone I found attractive enough to initiate contact with. They all seemed like lame-o's that I would have absolutely NOTHING in common with. Sometimes I felt like asking them, what was it exactly about my profile that spoke to them and said "Yes, you and me would be PERFECT TOGETHER!!" ...ugh. ANNOYING! But I guess I shouldn't be so harsh, we were all on there for the same reason. But I'm also an asshole, so screw it. The hot guys never are the ones that pursue you. It's always the ugmos.

So ...the dates. I can't remember exactly how many dates it took before I met the bf, but it felt like a million. At least I got a lot of free dinners out of it, and I perfected my post-first-date-let down speech...but still. Some of the guys were really super nice, but there was no spark. A couple of things I noticed were that guys post the worst pictures of themselves. Sorry, but a pic of you from 6 years ago BEFORE you were bald and fat...IS FALSE ADVERTISING. I shouldn't have to feel like a superficial jerk because you were too chicken to post a current picture. This happened to me at least twice. The hottest guy I dated from Lava was a complete dick. He told me about how he slapped this girl once that he was dating because she was "going crazy"...um...maybe because you're ABUSING HER. Dick. Another guy I dated  drove all the way from his place 2hrs away to pick me up...then I thought it would be a great idea to hang out at his place...what the fuck was I on?? "Sure stranger...here's my home address. Pick me up and bring me to your house/lair". UGH. Well, I never claimed to be a genius. We watched some movies but I wasn't feeling the attraction to this guy (although we got along smashingly...it's really too bad). We wound up staying in touch afterwards though, we'd troll Lava looking for losers to send to eachother and make fun of....endless hours of fun. I was going to describe what we found funny but you really just have to go on the site and have a look...."no head games"...WHO WANTS to play head games?  Yes, please fuck with me. Then ditch me. Geez louise. One loser asked me out to dinner, talked the whole night about how cool and cultured he was, and then when it was time to go he goes "oh you can get your bill, and I'll just go hang out with my friends who are sitting over there". REALLY?! Fuck you buddy!! No wonder you're single. After countless shitty dates, I was about to give up. I decided to look one last time just to make sure...and I found my bf's profile. His opening line was "About to give up" and I was like, shit..ME TOO! So I sent him a 'smile', and he had JUST enough credits to send me a message so that we could chat over MSN. I decided to fast-track this meeting so that I wouldn't draw out the 'getting to know you before I see you and falling for your online persona and then being disappointed when you're gross in person' period. He walked into the bar we decided to meet at and I was like...PHEW! And the rest is history!

I guess the moral is, online dating isn't for everyone, but it DOES work and can produce good relationships. I've been with my bf for 6 years now, and it wouldn't have happened without online dating. There's hope for you. Perhaps you could try Lowered Expectations?